Preserve Your Relationship |
If you want to avoid divorce, you have to persuade the individual that wants to divorce to give the relationship one more attempt. This is not often attainable, but it is completely necessary to give you a possibility of preventing a divorce. A divorce can be halted at nearly any stage, ranging from before the paper work is submitted to a court or to just before the final court date. Keep in mind that the earlier you end a divorce, the more probable it is that the divorce process will end with it and not resurrect itself sometime in the future.
So to avoid a divorce, you must persuade the individual to give the relationship one more chance. If you have been pleading with the other individual to give you one more try or asking them to get back together, stop. This may appear disadvantageous, but you do not want to make it easier for the person seeking the divorce to make the final decision to divorce you. Pleading may convince them that divorce continues to be a good idea. After all who wants to be around someone who is begging and it is important to preserve some self respect.
If you can begin behaving more mature and act in a more pleasing way, it may surprise the other individual and help end the divorce process. Make clear that you truly do not want the divorce and you want a further chance in a calm way. The individual already knows this so shouting or sobbing will not increase your odds. Simply make it clear that you are hurt and sad, and you truly want another chance. You may be pleasantly surprised how the other individual responds when you change your actions.
You can also show a mature aspect of yourself that the other individual may well not have noticed over the last weeks and propose marital or couples counseling to end the divorce. Counseling has worked for many couples and your relationship could gain from it as well. If you can get the other individual to consent to counseling, then you have created valuable time before they submit or try to complete a divorce to persuade them to give you and the relationship one more opportunity.
While in counseling you will have the chance to show the individual why they fell in love with you. You can remind them why you became involved with each other in the first place. And also if you can display genuine effort in wanting to deal with the issues that come up while in the counseling, and many most likely will, that may be enough to persuade the other individual not only to end the divorce temporarily, but for good.
When you realize success and end the divorce process, you need to keep in mind that the individual was about to divorce you and it would be simple enough for them to change his or her decision and file for divorce sometime in the future. Having previously thought about divorce and perhaps even having gone far enough as to file for divorce tends to make the determination to file again less difficult. So always be conscious of the state of your relationship, and possibly continue on with counseling. Good long term relationships sometimes require work to keep them that way.
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